My hand turned me down
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
These tits shall not be calmed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
