if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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