someone get that fucking seahorse.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
