Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
