so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
