Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
