i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
