Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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