I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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