I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
