You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
