I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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