We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
