I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
