if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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