So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
