Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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