New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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