There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
