I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
