How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
