Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
