you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
