his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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