I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
