i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
