Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
