May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They took my balls.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
