my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Even my vagina gasped.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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