im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
