I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
