Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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