so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
