Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
