dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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