so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
