i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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