You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hippo gnu deer
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
