Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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