I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
