So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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