she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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