i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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