I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
