I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
