i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
