hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
