Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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