pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
