He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
